I have been trying to write this post so many times, many of scrapped intros and failed attempts have made it onto this draft. I don't know why though, do I feel bad about my absence and lack of consistent content? yes, but at the same time no. Or is it that I have that much that I want to say that the thought of sitting down to spill it all out is too daunting? Probably. But the most pressing thought, once I air what is happening in my love life it will make it all the more real and all the more of a true relationship. Clearly there have been a lot of things that have been worrying me / playing on my mind about this, and those stated above are just a short little summary about what has been going on in my head - yet here I am.
So, my absence. This is plain and simply due to a lack of time, how do you fit in blogging around a new relationship and a full time job? Honestly, it is one of the hardest things I have ever had too do, but also at the same time it has been easy for me to prioritise my time. A few weeks ago, probably near enough a month ago I had my first date in months, but more so my first "proper" date ever. I have been building up the courage to start dating again for a long while, I have had flings and hook-ups but I finally decided that I was in a stable enough head space for me to start looking for something more serious. I don't want to go into too much depth about the whole thing, but it's safe to say he makes me very happy and treats me better than anyone ever has in the past.
However, with this new relationship comes all my spare time wanting to be spent with him - and rightfully so, if I didn't then it would be going nowhere good. Something which I have found super refreshing is that he isn't on any social media, he doesn't feel the need for it and so never bothered with it. For someone like me, who's whole life (near enough) is on social media, especially with blogging finding someone who is so neutral on the matter is bizarre in the best way. I've noticed as well when I'm around him I don't feel the need to constantly be checking my notifications and to document every waking minute of our time together. For me it is enough to just be there in the moment enjoying it without feeling the need to capture it so that the world can have an opinion on it. I feel like I am always stuck between these two places, of wanting to share my life and also not wanting too, I am such a bloody gemini! I feel like there are some things in life that you just want to keep to yourself and this is one of them, well at least for now while things are still new and developing.
So that's where finding the time fits in, it is so difficult at the minute for me to try and balance everything, I am trying my best. Honestly my blog has always been at the front of my mind, but at the same time I am not going to let it come in the way of my progression in my real life. I am getting there though, I always have something I want to say I just feel like I always need photographic content to go along with it, I always feel like people care less about what I have to say if there is no visual stimulation involved. Obviously I need to approach this more sensibly, and shoot a lot of my content all in one day for the forthcoming month. However, I am just too impulsive for that! I'd get bored half way through and by the end of it, not even want to use the content because it isn't fresh anymore. I know that is a silly way to look at things, but for me the best content is what isn't planned, what happens when you start just having fun with it and not take it so seriously, I feel like whenever I try and approach shooting in a sensible mindset I always hate the outcome.
Luckily for today's content I did a two in one, I went on a day out with my mum and dad to Beverley, and decided to shoot some content while we were there enjoying some lush food and cocktails, and having a browse down the lovely cobbled streets and charity shops. This is what I mean about being spontaneous, I always feel like the best content I produced is when it isn't planned and you jut go on a little wander and find some cute little places that you wouldn't be able to plan out. Like this adorable pink door! To whoever lives here, I would like to humbly applaud you on your fabulous colour choice. This is my future dream, but maybe make it sunshine yellow. I had no idea that this house would be down this little random street, yet here we are! Life is full of happy surprises, and I intend to make as much use of them as possible.
So that's it for today's post, I know it's been a bit all over the place but I've had a lot to say and had to try and find the words to express them with. Oh, also! My outfit is head too toe H&M, sadly the dress is no longer available however the bag and shoes are, and you can find the link to them in my previous post. Hope you enjoyed today's look & ramlings. Till next time,
