The most wonderful time of the year

With Halloween and bonfire night just going by meaning we are creeping closer and closer to Christmas, I thought I'd talk about why this time of year really is the most wonderful time of the year. Ever since I was little I always believed in magic, when I was younger it was more in the mystical sense. Now that I'm older I believe in the magic of love and togetherness, that warming feeling deep in your soul. When you get older the holiday season has a very different effect, it's less about the treats and presents and more about seeing people come together as families or friends to celebrate. You can see it everywhere, the look of joy and happiness on people's faces that is so pure and full of magic. 

Any chance I get to complete emeerse myself into celebrating and being a part of something where everyone is equal, I will jump in with two feet straight away and near enough drown in it. For the whole month of October it was spooktober for me. I'd watch something horror or Halloween related most nights, i got dressed up for work - twice! & went out with my girls all dressed up too. Something that I will never forget about Halloween (and all the holiday seasons) is that everyone is equal, you're dressed up as a neon clown? Cool! You're dressed up as a devil? Awesome! There should be no judgment, and to all those who slut shame girls who go out dressed like a "hoe", shame on you. Support your sisters (or brothers) if they want to wear that, who cares it's their body - not yours. Other than that for the most part their is no judgment, and the freaks and weirdos have their time to shine and celebrate being themselves. 

I remember on the drive home from work on Halloween I saw loads of kids all dressed up trick or treating with their families and friends with massive smiles on their faces, and there it was magic. It's such a pure reminder that the world really isn't as bad as well all think, there is still that togetherness that a lot of us seem to think has been lost. I got a bit emotional, looking at all these kids who aren't tainted by the sins of the world yet, who are just enjoying being kids! Which is so rare too see now a days, it seems like everyone is just in too much of a hurry to grow up. Now all of us who are grown up will probably all agree that it's really not worth the hurry.

Like I said before this really is the most wonderful time of year, because it really does bring people together. That's what I love most seeing everyone not worrying about what is going on in the world, just enjoying those few minutes where nothing else matters. It might be a bit sad, and I know not everyone will feel this way but there is nothing more pure and reassuring for me. No matter who you are or where you come from, you are all celebrating the same thing. It doesn't matter what extent you go too, or how much money you spend at the end of the day the fact that we are all coming together in unison to bring light, happiness, and warmth to the world. I don't mean by religion or anything like that I mean by people, people bringing people together. That's the real magic.

I felt like this outfit was very on par with the wintery/ seasonal appropriate content of this post. This look was fun for me as I rarely wear this much of a cool toned / pastel look. It was nice for me to push myself out of my comfort zone. This whole outfit was thrifted, bar the jeans which i picked up in the h&m sale a fair few months back. I always feel bad when I can't provide links too my outfits, but 99% of my wardrobe is vintage and/ or second hand. Sustainability (and value for money) has always been something that I am passionate about so that's why I shop the way I do! Hopefully it will inspire you to look for more sustainable options, or at least to try something new / out of your comfort zone. We are all so obsessed with warm tones at the minute (well seems like a lifetime!), so it was nice to play against that. Until next time,

XO XO, EMMA 

Styling The Iconic Rainbow Jumper

Hello, Hello.

So over the past couple of years, this one most significantly for me - the rainbow trend has met an all time high. I remember a few years back when Lazy Oaf released the ICONIC Crayola knit but it was, and still is way out of my price range. Hopefully one day I will be able to treat myself to a Lazy Oaf piece, but until then I just gaze at their Instagram longingly and pray that my time will come. It is probably my favourite current brand, If I could afford it I would own there entire shop. Anyway, the rainbow trend has really saturated the market this year and I finally managed to get myself an iconic rainbow jumper. Honestly, I don't know how I have gone so long without one.

This little number is from Monki, and if your a fan of Lazy Oaf chances are you shop on here as they have a similar vibe but at a fraction of the price. This crew neck knit is the mere price of £25! You can find it at this link here, but I would be quick it tends to sell out super fast. I got mine in a size XL because I love a big boxy oversized fit, and it fits exactly how I wanted it too. I usually don't like a long fitted cuff on a jumper, but I actually love it on this as it gives it some shape and makes it look more tailored. It is a nice knit, not too think or thin just right for layering, and the colours are incredible and just as vibrant as in the pictures. It is a guaranteed head turner, and I promise you will make a fair few people smile in this one! I think that's what I like so much about rainbows, you can't help but smile when you see one.

With the change in the seasons, comes a change in my style. As soon as Autumn / Winter comes around my style leans a lot more towards alternative and grunge, the styling here is somewhat showing the start of my style transition. The weather is finally cold enough for me to show off these incredible dickies dungarees which I bought from a vintage kilo sale a few months back, I have wanted to wear them for so long but they were just too heavy for the summer months. Dungarees are one of my favourite things to wear in the colder seasons, but I feel like because of the lighter wash I feel like I need to make the most of these sooner rather than later. I do think this wash of denim really compliments the colours in the jumper though, it keeps it light and fresh. I also love the baggy look of these, I have always wanted the perfect oversized pair but never seemed to find any, until these of course! I know it's a lot of loose fitting items and the look doesn't have much shape, but I think that adds such a retro vintage feel and more so, I love the vibe it gives off. Oversized clothes have always been a massive hit for me because I like to play with gender roles and what's deemed masculine / feminine. I also just love the effortlessness of it, I almost feel like my early 2000s self when I used to shop at tammy girl, but hopefully a bit more chic. The overall vibe of this look too me is so 90s grunge with a tad more colour, the bagginess of the look, the denim and the stripes, the chunky platforms are all key elements of the era it's just got my added colourful rainbow touches, like I say my style is literally transitioning like the seasons. 

Now lets talk about the details, is there anything more perfect than this sunshine yellow beret? No, I didn't think so. A few years back you wouldn't see my dead in a hat, but since I discovered a love for berets and baker boy caps last winter I can't get enough! I have wanted a yellow one for the longest time, and they finally got them in H&M (where I work) so I snatched one up straight away. Unfortunately it doesn't seem to be available online anymore, although there are a few in stores. I love how it ties in perfectly with the yellow in the jumper, and also how the colour looks against my grey / silver hair. Another defining details are these iconic chunky platform shoes, straight from the 90s / early 2000s. I found these at a local carboot and they cost me 3 QUID. £3 for a pair of shoes this insane is literally a gift from the gods.  They give me a bit of height, which I needed or else these dungarees would be trailing in the dirt - and they also add that grunge touch which I was on about earlier. 

I really love the way this has all come together, I love how it is showing how my style slowly transforms through the seasons, especially in this in between grey area where you have no clue what to wear. However it is safe to say that the cold weather is settling in here in the U.K. so more layers and outerwear are going to become a much heavier feature, but I think this post was a nice way to move away from my last post (which was all sun, bikinis and holiays) too more seasonally appropriate content. 

All images are shot on a Canon 4000D & edited on VSCO. The images of me are all taken by my incredible mum, and the other images are all taken by me. Hope you enjoyed this one, cya next time. 

XOXO, EMMA.

Sun, Sea & Sangria.

Hello, hello!

As some of you may know, if you follow me on Instagram or know me in real life I have just been on a sweet little getaway to Puerto Rico, Gran Caneria. Can you believe that even in September the temperature was in the high 30s?? I couldn't. It was a lovely week of sea, sun sangria & seafood. I have never eaten such a vast and glorious amount of fish and shellfish in my entire life, mixed with the sea views and cheeky cocktails safe to say it was a week to remember. Right before we went I decided to treat myself to a brand new DSLR, and I got in some perfect practice on this holiday. So I thought in this post, rather than a heavy focus on text I would just show you all what I wore, and what I sore on holiday.

This first set of images are my sea themed, cool toned images. I wanted to really reflect and put emphasis on the beautiful tones of the sea, especially in these shots in my blue bikini which tied in perfectly. I had a lot of fun editing these images and giving them an overall blue tone, seeing the flow between images makes me realise the importance of editing. It makes the images so much nicer to look at, as well as enhancing the beauty within them. I am also SO HAPPY with the new quality within my images, before I was only using the camera on my phone - which was all I had access too at the time. But, now seeing the difference it's given me so much more drive to just keep on creating content and improving more and more. 

This second collection of images are on the opposite side of the spectrum, full of warmth. Obviously alongside the beautiful turquoise sea we had the glorious heat. These images represent that, and the warmth and happiness I felt the whole time I was there. I really wanted to show two opposing sets of images that represented two sides to the holiday. I wanted to play around with tones and hues and create a story within the images, rather than just throw all my holiday photos into a post and call it a day. This way, at least I think, it makes the images more interesting to look at as well as give you more of a real sense of how I experienced my holiday and what I felt. Two of my favourite things in life is the sun and the sea, and I think this really reflects that.

So there are my collection of a select few images from my holiday, a collection of landscapes, nature and style. I like the idea of combining these things together, be it more cohesively in the future. Trying to tie together nature and fashion, two of the things I hold dearest too me. Now that I have my camera I feel a much wider sense of freedom, where I will be able to experiment more and bring together much more unique and high quality content. I'm super excited for the direction that I see my  blog moving in, and I can't wait to develop and strengthen and show my progress along with it. I am so proud of the way these images have come out, and I really think they reflect my holiday perfectly. It is so nice to be able too see my own personal improvement, and that just drives me even more to keep developing myself!

XOXO, EMMA 

Looking After Number One | Health & Relationships

Hello, Hello.

Here we are again, a month since my last post, and I  have distanced myself from blogging, yet again. SO much has been going on in my life, (most of which I will go on to explain in this post) that I have been that overwhelmed at even the thought of finding the time to sit down and write. I am finally making a start to this post after a surprisingly long day at work but also a very motivated meeting that has kicked myself into gear. If you follow me on any of my social media's i.e. Twitter (@emmalouiseloves) or Instagram (@emmacarline), then you will have a rough idea of exactly what is going on with my life, but I am here to explain it in much further detail. Pre warning, what I discuss in today's blog post is rather personal and quite taboo to talk about - which in all honesty is why I want to talk about it. I am not going to hold anything back because I want to be as transparent as possible, just so that women feel more comfortable talking about these things! So there is your "trigger" warning.

So as I mentioned in my last post I am in a new relationship, and a few weeks ago I bled pretty bad during / right after intercourse. As soon as I realised that it wasn't me coming on my period I knew that something wasn't right. I had just changed over my mode of contraception, from being on the implant for 6 years to then going on the pill so I thought it might have something to do with that. I booked an appointment with the doctor for a check up just to see what was going on, and if it was anything to worry about. It came around to my appointment and she did a "smear" test, however I am too young for a proper smear she just did a full examination and took some swabs. Obviously prior to this she asked me a lot of questions about my sexual history, if I am in a new relationship and if we had been tested / used a condom. To which my reply was yes I am in a new relationship, and no we haven't used condoms. YES I KNOW, it was very gullible of me - I am much too trusting. So, she was already pre-judging and assuming that it will be S.T.I related. After she finished the examination she told me my cervix was swollen and "patchy", but she immediately near enough assured me it would be from an infection. However, my mum had cervical cancer - so she had a referral ready for the hospital. Never the less she did not prepare me one bit for if the results came back negative.

A week later, bear in mind in this time I had to try to explain to my very new boyfriend that there is a high risk that I have an S.T.I, I get my results back. SHOCK, there all negative. No signs of infection. I was on the phone to the doctors ready and prepared for, "oh it's gonorrhoea", and it knocked me back so hard. I was so mentally prepared for that result, and then to be told that there is no infection - I had no clue what to do. I was in no way prepared for it, nor did I know what my next step is or what I needed to do. I had a phone meeting with my doctor the next day, the hospital referral was sent through and I was rushed through due to my family history. All of this happening while trying to juggle a full time job, new relationship and a holiday in a few weeks. Stress doesn't even begin to touch the sides with what I have been going through.

The day of the appointment came round last week and I was absolutely bricking it, one I have only ever been once for an x-ray on my back, and two, the thought of another internal examination made me feel a bit sick. But I was positive that at least I was going to be getting somewhere. However, let me tell you now that was one of THE worst experiences of my life. To start with they had no notes or anything from the doctors, I had to tell them everything again because there had been literally no communication. The doctor was male, and didn't tell me till after the examination that he was a trainee. He really rushed the whole thing through, I felt super uncomfortable and vulnerable. Also, all they did was the EXACT same thing they did at the doctors. Took the same swabs for the same tests that I had been negative for 10 days prior. We told the nurse and the doctor this, and the nurse literally said "well do I need to bin these then?", at this point I was crying my eyes out feeling violated and like my time has been completely wasted. To top it all off, they out right refused to do a smear test, even after me and my mum both told them that she had cervical cancer they still refused claiming that I am just too young. I left that hospital angry, upset, confused violated and infuriated. It was such a waste of time. I had to wait till yesterday,  where I had a Colposcopy and the results from that will finally tell me what's wrong. However the nurse I had for this procedure was lovely, she talked me through and explained everything - what was going to happen now, and what will happen with future.

SO, what is a Colposcopy? It is where the take a magnifying glass and get a real close look at the cervix to be able to see exactly what's going on, and they take 2 biopsy samples to send to the lab to test for a definitive result. MY GOD, taking biopsy samples freaking hurt like a bitch. I am not going to sugar coat it, it's two very sharp twinges. Although she did take a much bigger sample on me than needed, so maybe that's why it hurt so much? Either way, it is painful but it's over in a few seconds and obviously 100% worth it to have your results fully conclusive. It was a weird experience, but was over in 40 minutes and very educational and reassuring that it isn't as scary or as daunting as it all seems. It will take around 2 weeks to get my results back, but I am surprisingly not worried! I know what the following procedure will be and I know that my treatment plan is already pretty much sorted for me, so in all honesty it's just a waiting game! Luckily, I go on holiday in a week so I have the best distraction, and also I don't think I have ever needed a holiday more than I do right now.

Understandably my blog has taken a backseat, which in all this madness it can't be helped. But while I am on this topic, us girls need to start talking more about these things. If I hadn't of bled during sex, I wouldn't of even had a clue there was anything wrong with me. We all need to feel more comfortable sharing our stories and talking about these things so that people going through it don't feel alone, and also don't ignore the warning signs. I know it's horrible, and the thought of going to the doctors about it is embarrassing but at the end of the day it's there job - and your health is more important. I'll be sure to keep you updated on the whole process / procedure and my results, I really want to share as much as this on my blog as possible because I think it will actually be super insightful and helpful. We all need to feel more confident talking about these things, at the end of the day we have nothing to be ashamed of.

OH, and onto the new relationship - that has unfortunately come to an end. It was me that ended things, for reasons I think I am going to cover in a future blog post. This post is long enough without me adding all this onto it. But I'll put it simply as I wasn't going to stay with someone who I just wasn't compatible with, the fact that I was constantly trying to make things work just emphasised the fact that things weren't working. It's not the be all and end all being in a relationship, I am happier on my own! There will be a full on discussion about this in a future post because I don't think anyone should feel like they have to be / stay with someone just for the sake of it. You've got to look after number one, and I think this whole process has really taught me this more than ever before.

XOXO, EMMA

New Relationships & Finding Time

Hello, Hello.

I have been trying to write this post so many times, many of scrapped intros and failed attempts have  made it onto this draft. I don't know why though, do I feel bad about my absence and lack of consistent content? yes, but at the same time no. Or is it that I have that much that I want to say that the thought of sitting down to spill it all out is too daunting? Probably. But the most pressing thought, once I air what is happening in my love life it will make it all the more real and all the more of a true relationship. Clearly there have been a lot of things that have been worrying me / playing on my mind about this, and those stated above are just a short little summary about what has been going on in my head - yet here I am.

So, my absence. This is plain and simply due to a lack of time, how do you fit in blogging around a new relationship and a full time job? Honestly, it is one of the hardest things I have ever had too do, but also at the same time it has been easy for me to prioritise my time. A few weeks ago, probably near enough a month ago I had my first date in months, but more so my first "proper" date ever. I have been building up the courage to start dating again for a long while, I have had flings and hook-ups but I finally decided that I was in a stable enough head space for me to start looking for something more serious. I don't want to go into too much depth about the whole thing, but it's safe to say he makes me very happy and treats me better than anyone ever has in the past.

However, with this new relationship comes all my spare time wanting to be spent with him - and rightfully so, if I didn't then it would be going nowhere good. Something which I have found super refreshing is that he isn't on any social media, he doesn't feel the need for it and  so never bothered with it. For someone like me, who's whole life (near enough) is on social media, especially with blogging finding someone who is so neutral on the matter is bizarre in the best way. I've noticed as well when I'm around him I don't feel the need to constantly be checking my notifications and to document every waking minute of our time together. For me it is enough to just be there in the moment enjoying it without feeling the need to capture it so that the world can have an opinion on it. I feel like I am always stuck between these two places, of wanting to share my life and also not wanting too, I am such a bloody gemini!  I feel like there are some things in life that you just want to keep to yourself and this is one of them, well at least for now while things are still new and developing.

So that's where finding the time fits in, it is so difficult at the minute for me to try and balance everything, I am trying my best. Honestly my blog has always been at the front of my mind, but at the same time I am not going to let it come in the way of my progression in my real life. I am getting there though, I always have something I want to say I just feel like I always need photographic content to go along with it, I always feel like people care less about what I have to say if there is no visual stimulation involved. Obviously I need to approach this more sensibly, and shoot a lot of my content all in one day for the forthcoming month. However, I am just too impulsive for that! I'd get bored half way through and by the end of it, not even want to use the content because it isn't fresh anymore. I know that is a silly way to look at things, but for me the best content is what isn't planned, what happens when you start just having fun with it and not take it so seriously, I feel like whenever I try and approach shooting in a sensible mindset I always hate the outcome.

Luckily for today's content I did a two in one, I went on a day out with my mum and dad to Beverley, and decided to shoot some content while we were there enjoying some lush food and cocktails, and having a browse down the lovely cobbled streets and charity shops. This is what I mean about being spontaneous, I always feel like the best content I produced is when it isn't planned and you jut go on a little wander and find some cute little places that you wouldn't be able to plan out. Like this adorable pink door! To whoever lives here, I would like to humbly applaud you on your fabulous colour choice. This is my future dream, but maybe make it sunshine yellow. I had no idea that this house would be down this little random street, yet here we are! Life is full of happy surprises, and I intend to make as much use of them as possible.

So that's it for today's post, I know it's been a bit all over the place but I've had a lot to say and had to try and find the words to express them with. Oh, also! My outfit is head too toe H&M, sadly the dress is no longer available however the bag and shoes are, and you can find the link to them in my previous post. Hope you enjoyed today's look & ramlings. Till next time,

XOXO, EMMA. 

Sunshine your style! | My Depop Shop

Hello, Hello.

If you caught my previous post you will know that one my main focuses / goals at the moment is to get my own online store / shop running smoothly and consistently. The name sunshine your style, is one that associate with both my blog and my shop, because the clothes that I sell represent the same thing as. It's all about playfulness, colour, experimentation and self expression through the mode of sustainable fashion. I have been brought up on "thrifting", be it charity shopping or carbooting most of my wardrobe was second hand. Mostly because I come from a low income family, and it was an affordable way to shop nice clothing but on a budget. When i started to get older into the moody teenage years of 11, 12 & 13 I used to get dead worried and self-conscious in the shops, I would be scared incase anyone I knew from school would see me and make fun of me for it.

Now that I am working and have a decent income, I still thrift. I would say 90% of my wardrobe is thrifted items, the other percentage is from H&M (where I work) or odd pieces from the high street that I have picked up in the sale. For me, I love the excitement and thrill surrounding finding something that no one else has, and giving new life to something. Being able to give something a new home and life is super important too me. This is mainly because it is the most sustainable and environmentally friendly way to shop possible. Rather than contributing to the mass pollution and non-ethical production of fast fashion you are recycling something old that could've ended up on a landfill as waste. 

True Vintage 90's high leg swimsuit, size 10. £15

Nowadays the perception of second hand shopping has completely flipped to a more celebrated way to shop worldwide. I think blogging and Youtube has a lot to do with that, there are a bunch of super popular youtubers that make videos dedicated to thrifiting, and have made it more into the mainstream conscious of teenagers and Y.A. in today's society. Alongside this the invention of depop has really contributed to sustainable secondhand shopping, it has made it trendy and cool rather than embarrassing and a signifier of your class. So this gets me onto my main topic of today's post, my depop shop! I have been working really hard recently on my shop. Trying to make it all look consistent and more professional. I used it on and off before, just as a little extra bit of money (and because I kept on buying things, that I had no room to keep!). But now I am looking at is a more of a career prospect, I am trying my hardest to build a brand for myself so that one day I can have a shop of my own.

True vintage 90s/ early 2000's knee high zebra print boots, size 5. £45

My shop focuses on vintage, y2k and festival style fashion. Mostly filled with unique colourful items, sportswear brands and "trendy" brands like playboy etc. All my items are hand picked by me, and are usually one of a kind - where you are pretty unlikely going to be seeing anyone else in it. I take pride in what I sell, and I am picky about what gets the cut. I know that there are tonnes of people out there that like to be different, and like to experiment with trends that just aren't available on the high street. Most of my clothing draws inspiration from brands like Unif, O'Mighty, Shop Tunnel Vision etc. Mainly because these stores draw most of there inspiration from 90's and Y2K fashion, which is about 80% of the items I sell. I pick up so much stuff near enough every week, and my wardrobe is constantly changing so why not share it with you guys? I see so much stuff that I think oh my gosh someone would love that! Or I would love that (but it isn't my size) etc. I know it's a difficult industry to get into, and there are so many people trying to make it but I think my style, items, and focus on individuality and inclusiveness will set me apart! I am so driven to make this a success for me, because it is something I feel so passionately about. When it is a passion, it doesn't feel like "work" it feels like fun! 

Y2K Stonehenge Cropped T shirt size Medium, £10

I have a lot of items from my personal collection already up and loads more ready to be listed, I have also piked up a few new pieces to list that I just could not resist! I can't seem to leave something when I know there is someone out there that would cherish and adore it. So within this post I have included images of some of the items up on my shop, along with the prices etc. If there is anything you like, or if you're into my style and sustainable fashion then I would love it if you could give my shop a like! or at least a lil browse.To find me on depop just search emmalouisloves and my lovely little shop will pop up for you. I know this post just seems like a massive self promo, and I suppose in some ways it is but it something that has been taking up most of my time and I feel so passionately about it that I felt the need to share it. I want this blog to be a platform where I can share everything I am passionate about, and whatever is in life that I feel like I want to share.

Authentic Playboy Top, size 14. £15.

I hope this post hasn't been too much of a bore for you! & I hope that if nothing else it has given you a new outlook on second hand shopping and sustainable fashion and has maybe encouraged you to get out and look into it yourself.